I recently had a significant pivot point in my life and I wanted to share it with you for two reasons. Firstly I believe it might make Americans think but secondly because the outcome is going to be very hard to live and follow on a daily basis.
I have a long history of stomach and bowel problems and I am on medication for it. I also have a family history of cancer with my father and uncle getting and subsequently dying from bowel cancer so I have to keep a close eye on things. I have accepted these as part of my life but in the late summer things seemed to be getting worse and I was now also getting very tired and weak. I ignored them and hoped they would just go away after a period of time, but they did not. I eventually went to my G.P. who sent me for additional tests. I was extremely lucky that I only had to wait nine days for these tests as I was getting worse and even plain potatoes where making me very sick. I thought it was a blessing from God I only had to wait nine days and convinced myself I was being seen so quickly because something was seriously wrong.
I checked into the hospital as a day patient and the thinking began. I was lying in a hospital bed with nothing but one of those uncomfortable ugly hospital gowns on, in a ward full of people who are waiting to find out there fate. When I looked around I noticed everyone was older than me, some were maybe ten / fifteen years older and some were in sixties and seventies. One of my first thoughts was, “WHY ME”? I am so much younger than all these people. It can be so easy to feel entitled to things, even life.
As I was thinking these thoughts, one of the doctors visited the man in the bed beside me to inform him things were not so good, he would have to go for additional tests and possibly be admitted into hospital that night. I then remembered a colleague in work telling me about her neighbor’s son who had cancer at seventeen. It was then I asked myself, “Why not me”? Why was I so special that I could avoid serious illness? It can happen to anyone, at any time and at any age.
As I lay in that hospital bed, I started thinking about the tests I was about to have and what the potential results might be, and how I would react if it was serious. I thought briefly of all the things I wanted to do, the wasted opportunities and ways I could have done more. I then had my pivot point.
I thought about dying and I asked a very vain question. What will my family, friends and everyone who knows me remember? What stands did I take? My life is very political so it was no surprise when mostly political thoughts entered my head. The only thoughts I had were the things I was against and despised – things like being opposed to Obama, Democrats, Washington and politicians in general, laws and regulations, Palestine, authority, welfare programs against this Pope and religion in general and I was an anarchist.
I had so many negative thoughts running through my head I actually had to shout at myself internally, “SHUT UP”!!! I tried desperately to think of the positions I was for but at that time and mental space I could only think of three – I am a Christian and follow Scriptures, I love America because I believe it is the greatest country in the world and I am very pro-Israel because I believe it is God’s country.
I racked my brain looking for more. It seemed I could think of an endless list of things I was against but only three things I was for. It was at that point I realized I was on the wrong path and things needed to change because a lot of those positions are not really accurate. Let me give you an example.
I am very critical of a lot of laws and regulations and have been known to call them laws like speeding limits, EPA regulations stupid and wrong and income taxation immoral. There are times members of my own family have called me an anarchist, but nothing could be further from the truth. I believe the U.S. Constitution is one of the best pieces of literature ever written and I also try to follow The Ten Commandments. How can someone who believes in them ever be considered anything like an anarchist? The answer is simple – optics and what I am saying.
I made a promise to God and myself that day that I was going to try change, regardless of the results of my tests. I fully know my role on this planet and know I am no one important, and only a handful of people will remember me when I am gone. However for those who do remember me, I want them to remember me for standing for something positive and not something negative and against something.
It is so easy to be negative today especially with the way the world is going. I see so many people pointing out what is wrong with the world, but how many are sharing the “Good News” and the way forward. I see so many (myself included) who are talking about what they are against, but how many are focusing on what they are for. The recent mid-term elections were a clear vote against the current administration and their policies. I hope in the next elections America votes for something, I hope and pray that something is real Freedom, real responsibility, real understanding and real love.
This world is so full of hate, why don’t we all try to make a change? I am the worst offender at this, because how easy is it to call someone a name when discussing an issue or when it’s someone you don’t like. I have lost count how many times I have called people like Barack Obama, Harry Reid etc. morons or quoted the Great One by calling them Big Dummies. How many people on social media do you see un-friending someone just because they disagree. This path is sometimes so much easier but what does it really accomplish? How can we change the world, if the lines of communication are closed? It is time we all reflect and decide on the path we want to follow.
Sorry maybe the hardest word, but I believe love and understanding are the hardest actions! God Bless.